What do I want to be when I grow up….a good parent.

I’m still hoping that somewhere along the line of parenthood I can be infused with rich wisdom, patience, love, and understanding. Its been 12 years now since I have stepped into the role of being the “all knowing” and “never failing” parent. Gosh…how many times have I screwed up already? I am convinced that there is no higher role in life than a parent. It’s an opportunity to embrace the responsibility and the ultimate challenge of nurturing the next great human being. I like to think that someday my son will grow up to be the perfect man. He’ll be just as comfortable in the kitchen helping out with dinner and the kids as he is in the garage or doing maintenance around the house. When I think of my daughter I envision a woman full of confidence, intellect, and independence. The clique comes to mind…:”living your life vicariously though your child”. Yep, that’s me.
Somehow I must instill character into my children but how do I do that? Is there some magic button I can push and everything they need to know is miraculously downloaded into them? If someone has the scoop on this please pass on the info I will pay any fee you request.
From the onset of parenthood I have sought God’s divine help. With all my short comings, my bad habits, and my failures I know that I am bound to mess up my kids. I can already hear the sound of their voices saying “heck no”. It seems that kids have a natural tendency to pick up all the bad habits their parents have and unknowingly discard the good. When your kids are first born you have such high expectations. You dream of a harmonic symphony of parenthood…”everything is just going to be perfect” then you have a late night, pacing the hallways rocking the babe as you cradle her in your arms wishing, hoping, and praying that she would just go to sleep. Not realizing that someday down the road there is a good chance you will be pacing the hallways again…wishing, hoping, and praying she is alright and would get home on a Friday night. Those foreseen days terrify me. Parenthood was so much easier when they could be picked up and cuddled.
Now I have to worry, am I being too controlling, too mean, too overbearing. Am I giving her too much freedom, or not enough responsibility? The list keeps getting longer and longer as I second guess my self. I’m a firm believer in picking your battles. There is no need to wring your child through the wringer for every little mistake. I realize that there are black and white, absolute things that I want my kids to recognize and submit too. But what amount of influence or pressure should a parent apply. Pushing them too much could lead them to inevitable hate or rejection of the issue. But not putting enough emphasis on something can also imply to them that its not important. How do I, as a parent, find that balance?
There is nothing I want more than to raise the next greatest human beings. My list of ingredients…
Love, lots of it.- For God, for neighbor, and for enemies
Self Control- know where to draw the line
Determination-never giving up
Faithfulness- to one another, family, and God
Respect- For everything and everyone
Integrity, wisdom, courage, humility, passion, individuality

Please God, Somehow help me not to screw up!