The Goodness and Mercy of God

Sometimes it can be so easy for someone like me to take the mercy, grace, and the goodness of God for-granted. When you walk in it day after day and if you’re not careful the awe of redemption gets lost in the scenery of life. I’m not trying to sound high and mighty or clean and faultless but this weekend I came down from my perch of suburbia and walked around downtown for a bit. I felt like I was on sensory overload. There were so many people doing normal, crazy, or ridiculous things. I saw some lady yelling and cussing at a young boy telling him he was good for nothing and that he would never amount to anything. This boy was on the street corner juggling to raise funds for his hockey team and minding his own business. The lady…appeared to be homeless as she pushed around a baby stroller full of trash. Later I saw a drunk girl being held up by her friend as they staggered down the mall trying to appear normal and under complete control. Looking like 16 year olds but had to be somewhere in the 50’s. And to my complete shock I saw some man groping his girl friend between the legs as she encouraged more of the same behavior.
It had been some time since I had been around the “world”. I felt hopeless. I started to look at the faces of men and women old and young and felt like my hands were completely tied and that they would all suffer the same demise when they reach eternity’s door. I was surrounded by emptiness. All the money that was being spent, all the time and effort people went through to get a little attention. All the empty eyes behind drunken fabricated smiles of shallow happiness. And here am I in my clean white clothes appearing to have my act together but knowing full well that the inside of me is as dark and distorted as the scenery around me.
See, I am bravely admitting that recently the call or the lure of the world had my attention. Let me relate to a preaching I heard recently…John the revelator/beloved was in “great admiration” when he saw the “great whore”. She was arrayed in purple and scarlet and decked with gold and precious stones. The preaching warned that if John, the man who sat at the bosom of Jesus was admiring this woman then we too need to be careful not to get caught up in her allure.
Well, since my heart is deceitfully wicked I have be battling thoughts of wanting to take part in the world sinfulness. As a good Christian knows when these thoughts come they need to cast them down and brought into captivity. However, in the recent months I have been dwelling on them and they have gotten bigger and uglier. But after this weekend I felt like God showed me…this is the world. This is what it has to offer. Do you want it?
It’s like the blinders have been removed from my eyes. What was I thinking and dwelling on? Something that would only leave me empty with no fulfillment? How can I be so dumb? I thought about the move of God I felt in service earlier in the week…the Spirit of God was moving so thick amongst the youth I was with. The Word of God pierced my soul and heart and let me know that if I struggle and don’t let go of God He will bless me. Which was completely amazing because not to many days before I had envision my finger tips holding the alter of God barely hanging on but telling Him, no matter what I’m not going to let go. God knows where I am and He knows just what I need to get my eyes back into focus and I am so thankful to Him. It makes me think…”who is man that thou are mindful of him?” Why Lord do you care so much for me God? I can confirm that it’s the goodness of God that leads man to repentance.

Psalms 23:6- Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I am completely convinced that God cares about every little aspect of my life. Some might find this comical and completely unrelated or fabricated to fit my beliefs but so be it. Several weeks ago my husband and I were at the mall and for fun we like to go by the pet store and stare at the puppies in the window. On this particular evening we saw this little black puppy with one little white spot underneath his chin. He was adorable. He was the same “make and model” as our dog Lexie so we thought why not ask “how much is the little puppy in the window?” Well much to our dismay he was WAY over our budget and we had to walk away.
Since then we have been talking about getting an all black puppy to keep Lexie company. Last week I was casually looking at the classifieds. I called two ads in the paper saying that they had my “make a model”. One had what sounded like a beautiful little girl who was all white with gray highlights. I thought for sure we should go take a look at her. The second ad led me to Ft. Morgan where I found a little black puff ball with a little white spot under his chin, more than half the price off of the pet store. Needless to say we brought Toby home with us and now we are under assault of constantly cleaning up puppy potty messes once again!
I know what you are thinking this sounds too much like Chicken Soup for the Soul. I don’t blame you for thinking that. I am a little embarrassed to be relating me new puppy to the goodness of God. But I can’t neglect to give God the glory for all he has done for me. I look around and I see nothing but the very best. I’m not riding around in a Lexus or living in Cherry Hills but I know that the desires of my heart are being met but a very kind, giving, loving God. Who thinks I am the best and doesn’t mind showing me his love! This little random act of kindness on his part completely humbles me and shows me once again how great and loving my God is.

What do I want to be when I grow up….a good parent.

I’m still hoping that somewhere along the line of parenthood I can be infused with rich wisdom, patience, love, and understanding. Its been 12 years now since I have stepped into the role of being the “all knowing” and “never failing” parent. Gosh…how many times have I screwed up already? I am convinced that there is no higher role in life than a parent. It’s an opportunity to embrace the responsibility and the ultimate challenge of nurturing the next great human being. I like to think that someday my son will grow up to be the perfect man. He’ll be just as comfortable in the kitchen helping out with dinner and the kids as he is in the garage or doing maintenance around the house. When I think of my daughter I envision a woman full of confidence, intellect, and independence. The clique comes to mind…:”living your life vicariously though your child”. Yep, that’s me.
Somehow I must instill character into my children but how do I do that? Is there some magic button I can push and everything they need to know is miraculously downloaded into them? If someone has the scoop on this please pass on the info I will pay any fee you request.
From the onset of parenthood I have sought God’s divine help. With all my short comings, my bad habits, and my failures I know that I am bound to mess up my kids. I can already hear the sound of their voices saying “heck no”. It seems that kids have a natural tendency to pick up all the bad habits their parents have and unknowingly discard the good. When your kids are first born you have such high expectations. You dream of a harmonic symphony of parenthood…”everything is just going to be perfect” then you have a late night, pacing the hallways rocking the babe as you cradle her in your arms wishing, hoping, and praying that she would just go to sleep. Not realizing that someday down the road there is a good chance you will be pacing the hallways again…wishing, hoping, and praying she is alright and would get home on a Friday night. Those foreseen days terrify me. Parenthood was so much easier when they could be picked up and cuddled.
Now I have to worry, am I being too controlling, too mean, too overbearing. Am I giving her too much freedom, or not enough responsibility? The list keeps getting longer and longer as I second guess my self. I’m a firm believer in picking your battles. There is no need to wring your child through the wringer for every little mistake. I realize that there are black and white, absolute things that I want my kids to recognize and submit too. But what amount of influence or pressure should a parent apply. Pushing them too much could lead them to inevitable hate or rejection of the issue. But not putting enough emphasis on something can also imply to them that its not important. How do I, as a parent, find that balance?
There is nothing I want more than to raise the next greatest human beings. My list of ingredients…
Love, lots of it.- For God, for neighbor, and for enemies
Self Control- know where to draw the line
Determination-never giving up
Faithfulness- to one another, family, and God
Respect- For everything and everyone
Integrity, wisdom, courage, humility, passion, individuality

Please God, Somehow help me not to screw up!

Never let your present circumstances name your future